In order to understand this article, you’ll have to first allow me to use the classic – and super lame – rating system for women.
You know, the one where you call one girl a “5” and another a “9” and profess that you only date “10s” and that your last girlfriend was a “9.322”.
Yeah, that system. The one I hate. But, because we all (sort of) understand it, I’m going to make use of it.
I think you should go for 8’s.
And definitely not 10’s.
Part of my job as a dating coach for men is to find PATTERNS and then help clients break the insidiously negative ones in order to free them into their potential.
I want a guy to become the guy he’s supposed to be, not the one his fear, passivity and hesitation reveal him to be.
Here’s a most-damaging pattern: Most Guys Shoot WAY TOO HIGH.
They want “9s and 10s” when they’ve never even spoken to one before.
They insist upon dating supremely-attractive women when they would pee their pants when placed in front of one. They do this because they live a little too much in fantasy, and nowhere near enough in REALITY.
There’s a trap here. By shooting WAY TOO HIGH (all caps, twice in a row, for a REASON), they can stay locked-in to a frozen solid position of fear…thus avoiding taking action and mixing it up with the women who might be (actually, really) interested in him.
The guy gets to stay alone, in other words, and a victim of the world and its injustice. This powerless position is occupied by a very high number of men in this country (and world). The worst part is that guys LIKE this position.
It gives them a faux sense of power, and it keeps them alone…thereby insuring they’ll never have to take the long, hard look at themselves that is required in truly intimate relationship.
Oh, and you’re local, neighborhood PUA (Pick-Up Artist) is almost certainly ONE OF THESE GUYS. Don’t be fooled though by the false bravura and exaggerated claims: he’ looking for power in all the wrong places.
Here’s another pattern: When I ask men they type of women they usually date, they most-often ALWAYS say “7’s”.
ME: “Were you attracted to the girl you went out with last weekend?”
CLIENT: “Sort of – she was cute, we had a decent time. I’d give her a ‘7’”
The “7” has become the girl that a guy usually dates, and that he’s usually only mildly attracted to. So…
Go For 8’s.
Yeah, go for 8’s. It’s one of the most popular dating tips for guys I can offer. It’s realistic, and it stretches you just enough to go for what you REALLY want.
Besides, if you were actually able to land a date with a “9” or a “10”, you wouldn’t know what to do AND you’d likely not have a very good time.
These women are very sought after, and are usually stared/gawked at/approached in the average day more than you would feel comfortable dealing with.
They have also been treated MUCH differently throughout their life than you have…and I doubt you could make a strong connection with one.
Instead, lean a little into your comfort zone and go for “8’s”. A little lean is all you, or anyone, can handle anyway. This way, you won’t freeze up, become discouraged, and shrink into inaction and fear.
Oh, and “8’s” ROCK. I ALWAYS go for 8’s.
They aren’t high-maintenance (usually), are often appreciative (very often in fact), can be loads of fun in/out of the sack, have awesome senses of humor, are intelligent, are not often spoiled and entitled, haven’t lived their lives living off of their beauty, value real work (which she’ll need in her relationship with you (eh-hem) sir) and are really, really, really…pretty.
Dare I say – pretty enough for you.
P.S. Want to learn all of my BEST tips for how to get a girlfriend? Click the link and check out my pillar post on my favorite topic – helping awesome guys find amazing, long-term relationships.