“Let’s meet for coffee”, you say.
“Sure, sounds great”, says she.
“See you at 8pm.”
“Great, see you then.”
You hang up feeling elated at having confirmed a date with this gorgeous, fascinating woman.
You will take her out for coffee, hoping the conversation will be terrific.
You hope this leads to a solid connection and the ever-challenging, second date.
Why are you already behind the 8-ball?
Why are you already backed into a corner?
Why are you following the rules, “hoping” for good luck rather than being bold & spontaneous, increasing the chances of having an awesome time?
Taking a girl for coffee is a nice thing to do. Any decent, intelligent girl would think nice thoughts about you.
But, how far has “nice” gotten you in the past?
And, more importantly, nice very often doesn’t translate into…
This article of 7 of my best first date tips is intended help you break the boring old rules, reveal your personality in a powerful way, have tons of fun, stand out from the “other guys” and leave her wanting more…
Here is the “Lucky 7” list.
First Date Tips
First Date Tip #1: Break the rules
Why just take her to coffee, when, if you use your imagination, virtually anything becomes a possibility.
Think of the date as being a way to present yourself to her. Want her to think you are ordinary, uncreative and possibly boring?
Or, would you rather her see you as someone exciting and original? You decide.
Think outside the box, and do something INTERESTING.
~Take her to a new gallery.
~Take her to a new public space (in NYC we have the “Highline” in San Diego, there’s the new harbor pathway by the Hyatt).
~Take her to your favorite cafe, where they know your name…
Let your individuality shine through in your choices.
If she balks because you didn’t buy her an expensive meal…then drop her like an anvil and move on.
First Date Tip #2: Dress Casual-Cool
Don’t make the first date super-formal.
A client of mine recently took a woman to a costume ball on a first date. They were both stiff as boards the entire evening.
Instead, make the event relaxed and fun, and dress slightly above the atmosphere.
So, if you take her to the downtown music scene, for example, wear a smooth blazer with a t-shirt, and some casual slacks.
You set yourself apart from the crowd, and look a bit cooler than the rest of the t-shirts and jeans in your midst.
First Date Tip #3: Don’t Wait for the Kiss
Most guys wait for the end of the evening to kiss her!
In fact, most women expect this awkward moment. Instead, maybe an hour or so into the date, create an opportunity to kiss her.
Structure a romantic moment like a stroll along the river, or a relaxing tea on a park bench. Then, slow everything down, gently tease her hair while you chat, and go for the kiss.
She will be impressed with your spontaneity, and will feel grateful not to dread any uncomfortable moments at the end of the night.
In fact, a kiss then will be automatic…
If you want to read more about how to kiss a girl, click the link and read my full article on the topic which includes my famous “kiss test”. (link will open in another tab, so you can keep reading here)
First Date Tip #4: Bring Her into Your World
Most guys see a first date as a time to “impress her” or “make her like me”. Blah!
Instead, why adopt this frame of mind:
I am going to show her who I am and what I am about and see if we have an authentic connection with each other.
Why should you have to impress her? In fact, your attempts at impressing her will likely make her uncomfortable.
Social intelligence indicates that a first date is an “information gathering” session – no more, no less.
That goes for HER, yes…but also for you too.
First Date Tip #5: Breath Control
Usually guys have great breath as the date begins.
But, as the date goes on, their mouths dry-up, which can lead to sour breath.
This is a huge faux-pas.
On a first date, a kiss is unlikely at the very beginning, right?
So, be sure your breath is solid throughout the night by both drinking plenty of water, and by bringing mints or another breath control device. Breath strips are great for example.
At a point in the evening, excuse yourself and head to the men’s room.
Check your grooming, but also be sure to drop a mint or two, so you are ready and able when the moment arrives…
First Date Tip #6: Go Easy Hotshot
Don’t make the rookie mistake of acting like a horny teenager in the throes of puberty; stay cool.
No groping allowed, period.
Ease into physical contact and anything sexual by setting the stage for it. Once she responds positively to your subtle advances and gives you a window of opportunity, make your move.
Nothing too fast, too soon.
She must trust you and be comfortable with you first before anything can happen. It’s your job to get this done.
First Date Tip #7: Be Prepared
Have cash for cabs and a back-up plan in case the place you go to doesn’t work out for any reason (closed, booked, boring).
The back-up could be what your friends are doing that night, it could be another great restaurant in the neighborhood, another cafe nearby with great music…
Have this in mind before you head out. Also, have your place clean and bed made if you decide to invite her over to “watch a movie.”
Oh, and have a movie, and some protection (read: CONDOM) nearby just in case.
FINALLY (I guess this would be the 8th first date tip then) – if you enjoyed being with her, text her the next day with:
Really enjoyed hanging out with you last night Vanessa – let’s do it again real soon. Have an amazing day.
Be confident and let her know that you like her. Women want to feel secure in knowing that you dig her, so let her know.
She will be much more relaxed and open around you if she feels that you enjoy being with her.
NOTE: Don’t send this immediately after the date. There’s immense power in waiting until the next day. It shows her that you were thinking about her a day later, helping her trust you more.
That’s it man!
Use these tried and true first date tips, and watch your first date lead to a second one in a flash.
Remember, this is not your chance to impress her, but rather your opportunity to express yourself honestly and powerfully while learning if she’s right for you.
Oh, and maybe the most important tip of all?
P.S. I also covered this “first date” topic in a recent podcast episode. Be sure to check it out to further your learning and get even more great ideas on how to structure your first date (so, what to do first, second etc). And, learn my patented “kiss test” so you can always know when it’s time to make that all-important first move.