Wanted to get you thinking about meeting women in a new way today.
Social skills, and active social approaches are all good.
But, the passive work of building a personal style…and more importantly…a confident, social VIBE is much more important.
A balanced, holistic approach to meeting and dating was the precise reason that I wrote, rewrote and rewrote again my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”.
What I am talking about here all leads to a more empowering, more attractive first impression.
I was recently out with some female friends of mine here in New York City. We were mostly talking about dating and socializing (for some reason, conversations seem to end up on that topic when I am around – haha).
One of my closer friends, let’s call her Amy, was talking about a guy she recently met at a party. Seems innocent enough, right? Well, what she disclosed to me in the next three minutes was like getting more than just a peek behind the veil. I was totally shocked at what she told me.
Before I delve into what her mental processes were, let me remind you – with women, you NEVER get a second chance at a first impression. I find that men tend to reserve judgment for a few moments before arriving at an opinion of a person.
Women, however, tend to form this is a matter of SECONDS. So, if you don’t have your look, vibe & life HANDLED, you are destined for the bottom feeding extravaganza known as sarging, and spending time with GUYS who like to talk about (but never actually DATE) attractive and interesting women.
Women have developed a system of sensitivity over the years that we can NOT relate to. They have a Creep Meter (now known forever as CM) that is designed to protect them from predatory, disingenuous posers who masquerade as having their shit together when in reality they are arrogantly assuming that it is OK to play in the land of make believe. And, just so we all know, what is small subset of these ne’er-do-wells?
– PUAs (aka, pick-up artists)
– Serial daters
– Nicely dressed dudes, pockets filled with things to say only seeking sexual fulfillment (aka, pick-up artists)
Hopefully this will be a bit repetitive to you who consistently read this blog, but the above subset only attracts its reciprocal meaning, dimly lit hotties or player girls which is why they are all chronically single, and mostly spend time with members of their OWN sex. Pretenders attract pretenders the CM is much too high for women with a reasonably high IQ.
You should be suspicious of the women experts out there whose entourage consists of lapdog boys vaguely dressed as the guru and who just broke up with their girlfriend
So, back to my story what I did was ask her to put her thoughts into WORDS (in an email) so I could directly reproduce it here with no editorializing on my part. Here is the precise mental process of Amy:
First, I noticed his body language it was like he was subtly leading with his dick. The guy had his head slightly tilted back, like an arrogant snob or something. I felt like he was looking down on me. I then quickly read his tone, it was tense like he had something to hide. It was too high-pitched for his too big posture. I never trust a guy with tense vocal chords, I don’t really know why either. Then, I noticed he was wearing a necklace, and when I asked him about it he had NO idea that the icon in it was in fact an Asian fertility symbol what a poser! His shirt collar had ring around the collar how tacky is that! Next, his belt buckle was WAY over the top classic try hard. I hate it when guys overcompensate for their lack of personality with flash and glitz. He had a slight uni brow, which is often not a huge issue for me, but combined with everything else, made it yet another piece of evidence. His fingernails were all dirty which is completely inexcusable and his shoes did not match his clothing. You know, all of this may seem small, and petty. But, I gotta say, all of these small things were completely congruent with his VIBE there was something about him which was like a real estate salesman who wouldn’t take you into the basement cause he knew it was flooded. I can’t put my finger on it, but he was just CREEPY.
That’s the best I can do!
Flabbergasting. I mean, what’s a guy to do with all of this analysis going on?? Is there any hope for us?
At first, I thought that Amy might be the problem. But all of the other women at the table completely AGREED.
What I later learned was that many of these small things are not a big deal if the VIBE seems cool and trustworthy. A woman is willing to overlook a zit, or a dirty fingernail, if the overall picture is together.
So, how do you know if the overall picture is together? My advice LOOK AROUND YOU.
Are there women in your world? Do you have female friends in your life? If not, you might be setting off CM’s when you meet women.
Women WANT to meet and date cool guys who have REAL lives. If you are not dating interesting, attractive women you are probably creeping them out.
You can dress this up as much as you want, you can learn all the gimmicks you can get your hands on, you can even model the VERY BEST in the world and still be single, horny, desperate and alone.
Hell, at the end of Project Hollywood, we, the so-called BEST, were ALL single. What a joke right! There were guys there teaching men how to pick-up girls who hadn’t been kissed in MONTHS.
The message here is GET A LIFE and get a REAL one. That is the ONLY way to meet women.
And, as you get that life, LEARN social skills the hard way by practicing. Guys who set off the CM’s of the world are unsocialized, and are unwilling to practice in order to normalize their behavior around women.
If you really want my in-depth primer on how to meet women, check out the link over to my podcast episode entirely devoted to the topic.
I’ll share with you my 3 main “streams” which you need to setup to meet women in diverse ways and why it’s so critical that you have different strategies in place.
Check it out!