“The most compelling and convincing read on standing out, being special, and giving one’s true art to the world. Better than any self-help book I’ve read in a very long time. All men must read this”
On the surface, Seth Godin’s great book Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?, has absolutely NOTHING to do with dating.
It’s true, it doesn’t dive into techniques for meeting women, where to take a woman, when to kiss her etc.
BUT, what it does do is point you (or anyone) in the direction of being happier, more fulfilled, more generous and more…YOU.
If you read my blog regularly, you know that I place a huge amount of emphasis on BEING ATTRACTIVE.
I think guys waste huge amounts of time on the specific techniques for creating attraction in women when they could get much faster (and healthier) results by just improving themselves and their lifestyles.
Seth Godin’s Linchpin dives deeply into the way we see ourselves, the world, and what we can contribute.
He makes the very convincing argument that each of us has genius, an “art”, that we can and, in fact, MUST give to the world.
One of the most compelling topics he broaches deals with the “lizard brain” and “the resistance”.
The lizard brain is what keeps us safe, “fight or flight”, and fights against discomfort and…risk. “The resistance” is the product of the lizard brain.
The resistance sounds like:
Don’t talk to her, she won’t like me
I don’t deserve a fulfilling career
The women that I am attracted to are not attracted to me
I can never make money doing THAT
I am a cog in a machine here, and being ‘special’ or ‘standing out’ is not for me
The resistance is always “up” and always “on”. In order to diminish its power, and in order to FREE ourselves from it’s ever-repeating pattern of mediocrity and safety, we must go INTO it…slowly (of course), but surely.
For men, this might look like approaching a woman, or asking for a raise, or making the move to kiss a girl, or putting your favorite photos or poems online, or taking a stand-up comedy class, or asking that girl to marry you, or, or, or…
Or, not changing a thing but simply giving more of YOU to everything you already have.
Being a “linchpin” is being the one with the great attitude, the one who values that 1-1 connection with another, the one who goes out of his way to be generous, the one who makes others feel connected and involved, the one who doesn’t have to be supervised or monitored, the one who – out of habit – gives more of his vision, his talent and his gift to the world.
He is the one who is…indispensable.
A lot of the appeal of the book is in the workplace, career and art world – I imagine.
As a reader of this blog, does that interest you? Does finding more meaning and opportunity in your career SEEM like a way to be more attractive to women?
If so, you’ve gotta get this book.
Seth pulls the topic of “the resistance” apart and shows it be a simple (yet powerful) function of biology and social conditioning.
He also shares about how, in this day and age, it is urgent that we learn how to give of ourselves in spite of this resistance.
Men have become marginalized and small and most of us accept that (tsk, tsk). It’s time we moved out into the world, not with anger or hostility, but with a sincere confidence and willingness to be vulnerable.
It takes courage to do this, but it’s also the smart thing to do. Seth makes this very, very clear.
WE are responsible…er, rather, YOU are responsible.
The world needs you, it needs us (and, shhhh, but women REALLY need us).
The tone of the book is very 1-1 throughout his book. It feels like he’s having a very sincere chat with you. Ultimately, he left me feeling very inspired.
But more than that, he left me feeling a sense of urgency to get active.
An urgency to GIVE more. To move more into the resistance, and therefore more into the world.
An urgency of purpose, to dig deeper and take an even LARGER risk than I ever thought possible for me.
It’s not about getting a date, or making money, or taking a trip, or having a boat…no. It’s about understanding a simple fact of humanity – we are each special in our own rite.
And now, it’s critical that we live it.
If you love to read (like I do…) then be sure to check out my running list of top 10 dating books for men. I keep it updated, and it features a huge range of great books that all guys should read.