Coming from someone who used to use routines ad nauseum, the statement I am about to make may seem preposterous, but I will make it anyway:
In fact, I could spruce that up a bit and add a bit of menace for flavor:
You don’t need routines to attract women in fact, if you use them, you might repel women who would otherwise be interested, and you will actively lower your own self-esteem and self-image in the process
That’s actually the truth, but to soften things up a bit, just do I don’t completely ruin your night, let’s tweak this a bit so sorry to include you on my editing process here ;_) OK, here goes:
You don’t need routines to attract women they do not increase your chances at all, women are not attracted to words, they are attracted to men
That’s more like it, don’t you think?
Some would want you to believe that you can attract women using routines, gimmicks and lines. You might find that using these bits of candy gets the ladies laughing, but attracted to you not even close. Here’s why.
You see, what attracts women to men is autonomy and security plain and simple. A man, in the truest sense, is attractive and the more refined and mature his personality, the more attractive he is to the RIGHT women not just any old club-girl. The only way to cultivate a real relationship with a woman, is to have one with yourself first. Become YOU, a man, autonomous, and not desperate for the approval of every female who can hear your precious routines.
Besides, if you have it going for you, “it” won’t be in your words, it will be in your vibe, your energy and your presence. That’s what women are reading when you are in their presence. Your words? Yes, but barely
So, when you use routines and lines repeatedly, you betray your own development and maturation process. I personally believe in giving guys training wheels like a line or two to get them over the hump, and out in the world. So, if you are terrified of meeting women I will GIVE you stuff to say so that you can get started. But, if you are using routines as your primary means of communication with women, you are DEvolving, not Evolving.
What you, and any other guy who struggles with dating and relationships needs, is REAL maturation and development. A training wheel will help for a brief period of time, but ultimately too much dependence upon these can lower your own self-esteem, and deplete your own self-image.
Each of you who do this secretly knows that you are lying, and that you are not really engaging the woman honestly. What this does is begin a highly corrosive pattern of negative feedback between your actions and self-image. It was the case for me too. I used routines, far past the training wheel stage, to the point of trying to manipulate and control outcomes. There’s the rub gentleman: If you are trying to manipulate and control the outcome by performing for the woman, so that she will like you and desire you are lying and you are sliding downhill, probably without even knowing it.
The only way to truly develop in this game is to put yourself on the line, and actually try to have a real conversation. To try to flirt, for real; to try and tell a real story from your life; to engage her in conversation using a real question, or real situation in your surroundings. Relate to her AS you, and you then also encourage her to relate to you AS her encouraging honesty. (Ever wonder why players are cheated on repeatedly? There’s your answer) Even if she is not aware of what you are doing, your subconscious will be and the corrosion thus begins.
What happens is you will begin to tell yourself that you need gimmicks to gain attraction, and hold her attention. You will believe that you must say the right thing in order to win her affection. You will see more and more that this is just a performance, more and more moving away from an authentic interaction. Women smell this a mile away and that’s why you have the strange-but-true dynamic of PUAs hanging out with other PUAs’players with players and no women in sight
Is this you?
Time to get real.
Happy Valentine’s Day,