Overcoming Approach Anxiety

It happens every day, right?

You are on your way to work, occupied with the day ahead, and then she appears, she is right in front of you, and for a moment you feel an impulse to say something.

If you are like most guys out there, you say nothing, she passes you by and you are left wondering…what if?

I have worked with a lot of guys, and I ask them “why don’t you talk to her?”.

The usual answer is, “I am afraid”.

Many guys expect that, upon hearing there exist “experts” at meeting women that they must not feel any approach anxiety, and always approach without hesitation.

They also secretly wish that they can have their fear “removed” by these experts. I have some very bad news for these guys.

You will always feel some approach anxiety before approaching a beautiful woman. You will also feel a tremendous amount of excitement and joy too.

Besides, what could be more thrilling than approaching a gorgeous female?

What is possible is for guys to relieve some of their fear, so that they aren’t paralyzed. What helps in this is giving them a plan of action, as well as a decent idea of what to say.

Remember this, you might always feel fear upon approach, but by having a plan, you will alleviate your anxiety. If you can accept the fear, but trust your PLAN, you will be fine.

As my friend Mystery says, “Competence breeds Confidence”.

You might be waiting for the classic pick-up lines now, but I am not going to even address this here, because this article is more about having a plan of action sugar daddy meet reviews designed to get you over the hump of approach anxiety.

So, lets talk briefly about engaging women in conversations. Let’s call step one of this process (and there will be three in total): Engage.

(NOTE: in my programs and work with men, I teach a 3-step process for meeting new women – Engage/Hook/Connect)

When you engage her in a conversation, you want to approach her with a certain topic in mind.

The idea I want you to understand here is, you are not to overtly hit on her – cool? In other words, don’t approach her and creep her out by saying things like:

“Wow, I would jump over the moon for you”, or
“You are so beautiful, I would drink your bath water”…

ugh, I hate “lines” like those, which are usually insulting to a woman with any self-esteem.

So, instead of hitting on her by commenting on her beauty, ask her a question related to a topic with which you are familiar, and that has a decent chance of connecting with a female (so sports would be a BAD topic, style and fashion would be a GOOD one).

Here is an example.

Excuse me, but I have a question only a woman can answer. Do women find tattoos on men sexy? I was considering getting a small Asian symbol tattooed on my arm here, but wanted to get some female input on it before I went for it

Or

Excuse me, but, as a woman, do you find shorter hair or longer hair to be more attractive on a man?

These two questions directly relate to fashion and style, a topic certain to interest many women. In this case, you aren’t hitting on her in any way, just seeking her “input”.

From there, you can make it more personal and lead into an actual conversation.

Think of this process as a way to demonstrate your personality to her, rather than fawn all over her physical beauty. Many guys hit on her directly, but never take the time to try to meet the actual person who occupies the palace. Is that clear?

In the above two examples, you would then perhaps describe why you wanted this certain Asian symbol, or that you were considering getting a closely-cropped hair cut.

After chatting for a few minutes about this topic, you can skillfully move the conversation in countless directions as long as you are paying attention to what she is saying. This is the BEST strategy because you are beginning a conversation with a TOPIC in mind, not just a line or routine.

If you start with lines, it is VERY hard to break the pattern and flow into a natural conversation. By simply making this adjustment, and focusing on a topic, you can improvise on the topic, rather than scrambling for the next “thing to say”.

The ultimate idea, of course, is to get to know her and to allow her to get to know you. It is not to communicate to her that you think she is “hot”.

Later on, on your first date, you might say to her:

By the way, for the record, I think you are simply gorgeous. I know you probably hear that dozens of times per day from lewd men on the street, but let them envy me as I tell it to you personally and honestly. (smile) Anyway… & then continue with the conversation.

I encourage you to go for it, and talk to the women you want to approach – wherever you are. You will learn more than I could ever teach you by taking matters into your own hands and engaging her in conversation.

If you can think of nothing else, use this:

Hi, excuse the interruption, but, I noticed you and I had to risk making a fool of myself to meet you – My name is…

And then see what happens!

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I would love your feedback and stories on any approaches you do – your stories would probably help thousands of guys out there.

Definitely feel free to comment below if you want to share any direct experiences, or if you have any questions.

Oh, and if you want to learn more about ways of approaching women, click the link and learn all about my direct approach – a smooth and elegant way of beginning that all-important first conversation with a woman.

Good luck!

Stephen Nash