Would you be surprised to hear me say that the best way to meet women has nothing to do with “pick-up”?
In fact, it has very little to do even with approaching women or lines, tactics and gimmicks.
No, the best way to meet women is to cultivate an overall, healthy lifestyle and social circle.
In my ebook, “How To Get A Girlfriend”, I cover seven measurable ways a man can increase his attractiveness. In this work, he attracts the RIGHT women to him – not just any woman. This is an art.
One of my favorite concepts that I teach is how to consciously, intelligently, grow ones social circle.
It’s one thing to simply meet people, and hang out having fun, but it’s quite another to build a community around me which supports me while also challenging me to live at my edge. The latter is the BEST way to meet the women who are right for me.
This is the single most important piece of relationship advice that I can offer. But, this must be done with intelligence.
I could spin tales of picking-up girls, wild stories from clubs, amazing parties I’ve attended, gorgeous models I’ve talked with – would it be interesting? Absolutely.
Does every guy NEED to have such experiences? Maybe.
Was it, in the end, fulfilling and meaningful? Nope.
You see, I started teaching guys how to make the right moves, and spin the right words, into a sexual encounter. I was able to teach this because I was able to do this. In the end though, I was bored with the moves and lines, and felt that the REAL calling was a bit different.
Picking-up women is sort of like mining for fool’s gold. You definitely find some, and it looks GREAT – but take it to the jeweler, and you’ll find very little value there.
And when you measure the time and energy spent devoted to the cause, you’ll find yourself in some serious debt – as I did.
So, if you want a girlfriend (as many guys do), the single BEST tip I can give you is this:
That’s really it.
Women naturally expect to meet men via their friends and their social circle. They feel comfortable meeting men this way. Comfort is critical in a relationship.
The irony is, most women will also tell you that they wish for men to approach them in social environments – bars, clubs, lounges, cafes etc. However, what typically happens is either a sexual attraction, or no lasting attraction.
The benefit of meeting via social circle or community is that you already have things in common which can feed the relationship. The more commonalities you share, the better.
When you meet someone “cold”, the likelihood for commonalities is obviously lower.
So, how can we skillfully cultivate our community? Here are some find a sugar daddy app ways:
1) Organize outings. The best way to nurture and expand a community is to gather together, and open invites out to others. Perhaps this means hosting a party, and inviting your friends.
But, add the additional flavor of having each guest bring someone that no one else will know. This way, you automatically meet new people, and the community thrives.
2) Be a leader. I have a friend who knows the various bouncers at the clubs here in New York. He organizes groups of friends to go to a cool restaurant followed by hitting some of the hottest clubs in NYC. The key here is that he is in charge, and is seen as the leader of the group.
It becomes easier then for him to meet the new people (women) in the group, and he is naturally more attractive by being in the center position.
3) Test the group. Organize events and outings where people are challenged and forced to grow. This might seem an odd idea, but let me explain. When you go through an emotionally expanding experience with other people, your bond naturally strengthens.
I remember when I was younger, my parents and I would always attend a whitewater rafting trip with friends. Afterwards, the members of the group would be closer, having been through this challenge together.
In fact, three new couples were born out of these trips.
So, my basic rule of thumb is, if you are looking to get laid, go out to bars and clubs, bring a condom and have a blast. If you are looking for a girlfriend, cultivate a lifestyle which feeds you happiness, and watch as you meet the right woman almost effortlessly.
The effort should be towards living a life which reflects you, and brings you in contact with like-minded people. Your demand for “now” may not be met, but with a little patience, the reward will come.
Hope that helps you!
By the way, be sure to check out my extensive podcast episode where I dive fully into the topic of how to meet women. In this episode, I cover online dating, approaching and more on the “art” of meeting the right kinds of women for you.