Too often, I see guys default into standard (and boring) first date ideas, so I wanted to share here my classic first date tips with you, honed over many years of fun trial & error.
It’s hard to really know why it is that so many of us struggle with coming up with original and interesting ideas for activities and locations for where to take women for a night out.
How many guys out there have consistently fallen back on the Dinner & a Movie idea?
Probably most, if not ALL of you.
So, specifically what I wanted to do with this post was to give you one of my favorite date ideas and break down why it is so very good.
And you should definitely steal it.
First Date Tips for Men
First of all, you gotta understand that what you choose to do with a woman on a date reveals a lot about your personality.
So, if you fall back on ordinary activities, you will be seen as – well – ordinary.
Do you want that??
Of course not!
This is key for many reasons, but two that I want to highlight now are:
1) By being really in your community, you have more FUN, and
2) You consequently know of more interesting and FUN date ideas
But, if you never branch out and try new things you will never have a better idea for when it comes time to plan the date. You will then default to what everyone else does:
Dinner and a Movie
Notice I highlight FUN above (actually, I all CAPS it, to get your attention master keystroke? We’ll see) – when considering the where/what/how/when for your night out with her, this should be the guiding principle for your decisions – is it FUN.
Before we completely bemoan the classic Dinner and a Movie, let’s at least see why it is effective, if not completely ordinary:
1) It has TWO different activities
2) It has TWO different venues
As principles, these are very good and useful.
If you are dead-set on this, at least take her to a cool restaurant, and an interesting flick (for New Yorkers, we are about to have the Tribeca Film Festival – so, that would be far more interesting than taking her to the $2 cinema to watch Old School for the fiftieth time).
I follow three guiding principles in formulating our first date with a woman:
1) It must be FUN
2) It must involve more than one activity
3) It must happen in more than one venue
Case Study: First Date Strategy
OK, so after all of that – here is a favorite, inexpensive, FUN, date idea:
A few years ago, I met a younger girl in Los Angeles. I was out at dinner with some friends, and noticed that she and her friend were glancing our way from a few tables down.
So, I drew up a hangman game on a napkin and sent it over.
I think the final answer was I Like Puppy Dogs or something like that – funny and cute (yes, this is a fun way to meet women in restaurants).
Once she got the right answer, she sent it back with her cellphone number on it.
I called her the next day (yes, always call the next day – the two/three day rule is no longer cool), and we arranged for our date.
I knew that I needed to chat with her for a bit, so that we could at least get to know each other some – because at this point, all we knew was that we were both fun and attracted to each other but there were no commonalities, and no comfort – which is really important if you want to convince someone to carve out an evening from their schedule for you).
After about 10 minutes, I suggested we get together and she agreed.
I had her meet me at an arcade off of Hollywood Blvd.
Now, it might seem childish to meet at an arcade for a first date – but we both had fun attitudes about it, and I think she got a kick out of seeing me try to play video games (I am BAD at video games BTW, but skill level doesn’t matter – it’s about having FUN).
When we entered the arcade, I decided to raise the stakes a bit.
I purchased about $5 worth of tokens, and told her that we would play as many games as we could, but that the overall loser would have to buy dessert (incidentally, I try to avoid dinner on a first date – because if there is no chemistry, I don’t want to be stuck at a restaurant with someone for two hours, nor do I want to pay for the time – a first date is a time to get to know each other, and a second date is a time to go deeper, over dinner).
So, we played a bunch of different games, and I was the eventual loser.
The important thing here is that we had FUN, and there were no awkward moments as there usually are on a first date – we had instant conversation fodder, the activity we were sharing.
Then, I took her to a favorite dessert spot in West Hollywood where we had coffee and cake.
After sharing a fun hour or so with each other, moving into a more real conversation was easy because the ice had been broken long ago.
What makes this so effective is that it is comfortable for her and for me.
Women are also reluctant often to go for a dinner date (unless they are more familiar with the guy) because they too don’t want the discomfort of being stuck at a dinner table with someone they don’t really know.
By having the first section of our date together be with an activity helps us both to relax, and open up.
Then, we sit down and share some conversation – which is much easier now.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, if you ask the girl out, you PAY for everything, got it?
As you get to know each other more, the pay-burden can be shared, but on a first date, the guy always pays.
So, to sum-up on these first date tips for men:
1) FUN – try to plan an activity at the beginning of the date which will automatically break the ice, and help you both relax.
Galleries are great places to go, for example.
2) More than one activity – two things to-do at least. Dinner and a movie are two different activities.
I like to be more creative and inventive.
Step out of the box and show her that you see the world differently than the average chum being adventurous is attractive.
3) More than one venue – By going to different places, not only do you both relax, but you also get to see more than just one side of someone.
Environments help people socialize around different topics.
Change environments at least once on a date. Also, by having to MOVE from one to the other helps people to relax too as their bodies are now engaged.
May seem like a small detail, but in my experience, this can be very helpful to both of you.
Try it out!
To learn all of my first date tips check out my “Lucky 7” post right here:
First Date Tips – Stephen Nash’s Lucky 7
And do let me know if you have questions or other feedback from your first (or any) dates out there…feel free to comment below.