For many men, it’s a tricky question: how to flirt with girls, but naturally – so that it doesn’t go too far into “cocky” and not far enough from the “friend zone”.
This is the art of flirting…and one that I love and think, with a little guidance, you will too.
So, lets get real and be serious about this for a moment or, better yet, let’s NOT.
Being too serious, and trying to flirt, is like C3PO trying to break dance.
So, how can we take the tension out of flirting and dating, while maintaining effectiveness?
The first key to flirting is to RELAX. When you are uptight about a girl liking you, she will sense it and lose interest FAST. This is not rocket science here guys!
When you feel this way, look her in the eye and imagine her snoring. I know it sounds strange, but when you see that pretty face of hers blaring out a loud snore while asleep, she tends to lose all the importance you have given her.
The idea is to realize that she is not deserving of your power, so why be freaked out in her presence?
Second, being flirtatious means being playful. There is a lot written up out there about the importance of being cocky. Frankly, this idea is played out. The guys I meet tell me the same thing:
Every time I get cocky with her, she loses interest in me. I always come off like an ass!
Too much “cocky” and not enough “funny”.
The key is to be PLAYFUL. Teasing her is GREAT. Treat her like she’s the nerdy kid in high school. When she does something dumb, bust her on it.
When you do this though, do it with a smile be sure she knows you are teasing her. Otherwise, without the playful attitude, you will be categorized as a jerk.
Incidentally, NEVER make fun of her looks. Feel free to compliment her look, but never tease her about her genetic appearance.
Tease and bust on her behavior only. This is where the fun happens.
The magic combination is to combine this playful attitude with being a gentleman. Open doors, pull out the chairs, offer your arm when going over the curb, help with her jacket all of those chivalrous things DO THEM.
Feel free to be as nice and courteous to her as possible. But, be sure to mix that with teasing and a playful combination. Having this mixture allows you to be a gentleman.
Without it, you become her friend and a nice guy. Yuck!
By revealing that you are considerate and fun, you become the big winner. It is the essence of what is called push/pull.
When you tease her, you subtly (psychically) push her away. When you are considerate and chivalrous, you pull her towards you. This creates TENSION.
This tension is also known as Sexual Tension.
To flirt like a man means to be the master of tension. When to dial it up, when to slow it down, and when to drop it altogether.
It takes experience to master it, but focus on these principles to ride the fast track:
- Relax nothing is more unattractive than an uptight guy, chill out and lower the stakes;
- Playful tease her, poke fun at her, and do it with a smile;
- Gentleman Open doors, offer your hand and make her feel special;
- Confidence do all of the above with confidence, and you will help her feel comfortable and valuable this combo makes you the big winner.
Want to read more about how to flirt? Check out the link and read my two-part, in-depth discussion on HOW to it, some real world examples, and more.