(To Read “How To Flirt” Part A, Click Here)
Yeah, it’s an unsexy, unflashy, seemingly innocently banal…SKILL.
And guess what? It’s REALLY important.
Seems too simple, right?
Without it, you’re SUNK.
Flirting with women and the art of building sexual tension REQUIRES that you be a very very very good listener.
Here’s the hard part: really good listening only happens after you can relax.
Being able to relax requires some time and experience in real conversations with women.
Having some solid time in real conversations with women means you’ve gotta get OUT THERE and meet women! So, it might take some time.
You might have to be average (or, even, below average) before you can get good at flirting with women, listening and building sexual tension.
Here’s why listening is so important.
She will often hand you beautiful opportunities to flirt, but you must be present enough to the interaction to hear them.
So, if you are stuck in your head wondering what is the next thing I am supposed to say, you are sunk.
“In your head” is not where the real interaction takes place. Worrying about what cool thing to say next is not where the conversation happens.
What do you listen for? Well, certainly listen for facts and details about her life.
It is very impressive if you can recall them later in the conversation.
With the art of flirting, try to listen more for ways to misinterpret what she is saying. Or, if she misspeaks you will definitely want to tease her a bit about that (Freudian slips are GREAT opportunities to flirt).
Make fun of yourself off of what she says.
Spin a funny story off of a comment she makes.
Poke fun at her because of a certain line of questioning she pursues.
Tell a light joke based on something you both observe in the environment.
These are ALL examples of flirting and building sexual tension.
BUT – none of the above can happen unless you listen, and relax.
- If you are in your head, you are not listening to her
- If you are worried she doesn’t “like me”, you are not listening to her
- If you are concerned you said “the wrong thing”, you are not listening to her
- If, 5 minutes into the conversation, you ask what her name is and she’s already told you, you are not listening to her
- If you overdo the cockiness (very common), you are not listening to her
Being able to truly listen, and spontaneously flirt, takes experience. You’ve gotta walk before you can run.
But (and you can trust me on this one), when you get “there” and are able to improvise and flirt in the moment – there is no conversation more fun to have than that one…worth the work, and the wait.
Click here to read Part I: How to Flirt