What do you do when there is a very cool party, where there will be lots of women, but none of your friends want to go??
Do you stay home, and watch SNL, regretting the missed opportunity tomorrow?
Or, maybe there is a great event, which promises to attract a lot of interesting people, yet your “running buddy” is out of town – what do you do?
If you are like most men, you stay home and sink into the internet.
Or, you and your buddies might rent a video, and waste another opportunity to meet some cool people and expand your social circle.
What do I advise? Funny you should ask.
Go out alone.
That’s right – fly solo.
Going out alone to meet women is counter intuitive, but if you understand a few basic concepts re social dynamics, it can become a hugely important facet to your overall plan of meeting new women.
One lesson I drive home with my clients is the importance of “being your own man”. So, if your buddies are too lazy to get their asses of the sofa, why should you?
Do you LIKE sausage parties?
I didn’t think so – that is probably why you’re visiting my website.
One thing you must embrace is that changing your lifestyle will force you outside of your comfort zone.
If you want to get good at meeting women, and find happiness and fulfillment, you might have to push the envelope a bit – and step outside of the small comfortable box you call “my world”.
I always tell clients, when there is no other option, go out alone. Many respond with, “But everyone will notice that I am alone, projecting the image of ‘loser'”.
Let me clarify something right now – a “loser” is the guy who refuses to change, and prefers his lazy habits of failure to the challenge of seeking success.
That is an important idea, so I will repeat it:
A “loser” is the guy who refuses to change, and prefers his lazy habits of failure to the challenge of seeking success.
Besides, if you do go out alone, do you think everyone at the party/event will notice, or even care??
Let me answer that for you – they won’t.
Besides, if you follow the strategy I am about to give you, you will be fearless when by yourself because you will have a plan for meeting people, and joining their social circle.
Going out solo forces you to interact with new people. I have always had positive results from doing things alone. The key is to make friends when you arrive.
Your goal is to meet new people, right? Why not apply a little social pressure to yourself and go alone, so you cannot hide behind the familiarity of your friends?
The worst thing that happens is that you attend an event, you extend your hand in introduction to people, and they completely reject you (never happens by the way, but this is the worst case scenario). All this does is prove that they are snobs and not worth your time.
You leave knowing you tried to meet new people and they were just too close-minded to make space for a new, cool person in their little world.
With the right attitude, going to things alone is a great way to expand your social circle. If you decide to do this, here is a strategy for increasing your effectiveness:
1) Arrive, and introduce yourself to the host of the party (or event organizer)
2) Mingle with some of the guys there (way easier for most guys to chat with guys right?)
3) Now that you have some male friends as a base, mingle within their social circle who knows, they may have single, available female friends with them.
4) Then, begin to mingle off of their social circle. As you converse and discuss things, bring other people into it “hey, we are discussing ___, what do you think about ____” Presto, you have just expanded the social circle.
Now, we can take this further if there is a woman there that has caught your eye, and you want to meet her.
5) Take the lead, and move the group you are in to ‘her’ area of the room.
6) When you are in her vicinity, bring into your circle the closest person to you that is in her circle.
7) Again, take the lead, and present the topic to her circle, connecting the two social circles.
Presto, you are involved in her circle. Although there are seven steps to this little process – it is easy, and can be repeated anytime, and in any social setting.
When she says something, take the lead and respond. This begins a conversation with you and her.
One word of advice, if you really want to begin a good conversation with her, and make it look smooth in the process – disagree with whatever she says.
That’s right, find a way to disagree with her. Then, it makes perfect sense that the two of you talk – as you now have to work out your disagreement!
The above structure is a classic way of socializing that has worked for me countless times. If your goal is merely to expand your social circle, follow this and find yourself meeting new people constantly.
This is also a great way to smoothly meet the ‘her’ in the room.
Of course, you can also just walk up to her and introduce yourself – that might be simpler, and more impressive too.
Doing that is a lot easier if you have made some friends first, and established a home base somewhere in the sea of strangers.
Finally, if you’d like my full thesis on how to meet women, click the link and listen to my extensive podcast episode on the topic.
For guys with healthy social lives, there are three main “streams” of new women – do you know what they are? If you have these three in place, your dating life will bloom like a flower in spring.
And your chances of meeting a really great girlfriend increase exponentially. Dating IS somewhat a numbers game, so increasing the quantity of women you meet is an important step.
I hope you will check it out.