Mailbag time gentlemen.
This is where we take a particularly interesting question from someone that we feel challenges A LOT of guys out there.
Today’s covers a particularly sensitive topic:
How do you kiss a girl?
Most guys won’t admit it, but they fumble this moment like a rookie running back.
Want to be Walter Payton? Listen up.
Here’s the question…
Dear Stephen,
Recently, I was out on a date with a great girl I met at a party. A number of times in the evening, she would look at me and hold the stare a bit longer than usual. I kept thinking, she wants me to kiss her. I was so nervous though, that I never went for it! What is the best way to set-up a kiss with a girl? I mean, I know how to kiss her, I just wonder if there is a cool way to make the move. Help!
Thanks,
Darren
CT
Thanks a ton Darren & I feel your pain, buddy.
First of all, don’t worry this is by far the TOP question I get from guys.
How do I smoothly go from talking to kissing? Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I’ve come across are constantly looking to handle this tricky situation a bit better.
In my estimation, most guys know the girl is ready to be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move, waiting for that perfect one…which will never come btw.
Even worse, they’ll wait hoping the woman will make the first move.
If you’re the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you:
There are no perfect windows of opportunity, just many good ones, and 99% of the time she will not be the first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky.
Here are some solid moments when a first kiss might be ideal:
- Sounds like you were in a pretty good spot there at a party, find a private spot to “continue chatting where it’s a bit quieter” and make your move there
- You’re splitting a taxi on the way home, side by side in the back seat
- You grab a drink after seeing a show, and sit by her side at a small table in the bar
- At the end of the date (the usual time), you give her a kiss in front of her apartment or house
- In between dinner and say a gallery opening or event, you arrange a nice stroll through your favorite garden or park. You grab a seat on a bench and then make your move…
So, ideally, you are somewhat private here (some women are super turned off by public displays of affection – PDAs for short) and it’s on the first date. I always like to make my move before the end of the date simply because that’s the USUAL time, and I like to be…unusual :).
Let’s assume then it’s the right time – how to smoothly then make the move? Here goes:
1) The first thing to make sure of is that you’re both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point it is important that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part…(HUGELY important)
2) When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of the interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your speech, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE.
3) Now here’s the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by her as the smoothest guy ever. During each of those pauses in your conversation, stare at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring at her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you’re saying at this point become irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick.
4) Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again (this is called triangular gazing). If she has not moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer.
5) Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers.
Congrats buddy…you are now kissing her.
The final step is to enjoy the hell out of it AND to not let it go on for too long. This is the first kiss of many (right?), so leave her wanting much, much more…
By the way, I have a much longer article on the topic of How to Kiss a Girl which also includes my patented “kiss test” which you should definitely check out.
Good luck man!
