The third useful social skill from “The Game” that you should study and learn is storytelling.
What I want to pass on is how to tell a story in a way that captures and leads the imagination, so that it brings her into your world…which is a nice place to be, right?
What follows is an excerpt from my book, How To Get A Girlfriend where I discuss storytelling at length.
I’ve stopped short of simply cutting and pasting the entire chapter as that would be too lengthy – but this covers the gist of it (I cut out examples and exercises, which come in the full version of the book).
In my opinion, storytelling is the EASIEST skill to master. If a guy really struggles with it though, I always suggest taking an acting class – as that helps you understand the energy required to keep and hold someone’s attention.
So, here is the storytelling skill as outlined in my book, “How To Get A Girlfriend”:
Storytelling: Or, How to Capture & Lead Her Imagination
Men who are naturally successful with women almost always have a sincere interest in life, and in living it to the fullest.
We are going to talk at length about passion, and its relevance to being attractive in the final chapter, but I will touch on it here as it relates to storytelling.
These “naturals” also seem to have a lot of activities going on, where they are able to test themselves, and grow as men.
Their life is interesting. It brings a lot of fascination and intrigue all because they have an open mind, and choose to explore it.
One way that this serves to help them in their lives with women is that they have interesting stories to tell.
Women (and all people) are captivated by a good story. The best storytellers always fill their words and tales with drama, humor, passion, intrigue and mystery. Next time you are at the beach, notice what kinds of books women are reading while they sunbathe.
This summer, I seemed to see a lot of romance novels, as well as mystery and suspense novels. Women are most often led by their emotional center, and when they find something (or someone) who understands how to communicate with them in an emotional way, they get interested.
What might be some topics to focus on when considering what stories to tell while in the presence of women?
Here’s a list:
– Pop Culture
– Emotionally charged memories & experiences
– Humorous stories from your life
These topics are great because they are entertaining, exciting, funny and generate positive emotions. Also, the more interested you already are in a certain topic the better. This helps you to be enthusiastic when telling your story, a necessary prerequisite for capturing someone’s attention.
If you have a natural interest in one of the above topics, it makes sense for you to want to share stories from your life that reflect this interest.
So, what are some ways that we can develop this skill called storytelling?
1) Pay attention (see the world around you, and develop an eye/ear for a good story)
2) Learn to communicate via emotions (as opposed to logic)
3) Live passionately
Let’s spend a minute now with each of these topics.
Pay attention: People tend to sleep walk through their lives. Great poets seem to always highlight this when they discuss the smallest things, which most of us don’t see and appreciate.
As you go through your life, pay attention to what you see.
Recently, I saw a middle-aged man who was rather upset at a neighborhood kid. The kid had apparently just bumped the man’s shoulder while walking down the street.
So, the man turned and started yelling at the kid. However, the man failed to realize that the kid was wearing headphones and couldn’t hear him. So, as he got louder and louder, the kid simply stood there, waiting for the light to change, without a care in the world.
Those of us around the man noticed this, and couldn’t help but chuckle at his futility. This story illustrates a couple of things.
First, this man wasn’t paying attention, and therefore made a fool of himself on the street. Second, this makes for a great story when communicating with women.
Why? It is funny, it involves men behaving foolishly, and it is visual. A story that is visual is excellent because the listener can imagine the events in her mind bringing her closer to the reality of the event.
When telling a story, remember to paint the picture for someone. Get them involved by creating clear images of what is happening. Great storytellers are comfortable using their body, facial expressions and voice to illuminate the story.
This allows them to enter into that world, and have a similar experience of the story as you had when witnessing it. This strengthens the connection between the two of you, painting an attractive portrait of your world.
Makes sense right?
Each day of your life is full of scenes, scenarios, and happenings that make for good stories. Also, many men forget that women like it when we make fun of ourselves.
It communicates that you are secure with yourself. If you can tell a funny story which pokes fun at yourself, illustrates that you are human and are comfortable with that, you will get great reactions from women – TRUST ME.
I want to emphasize the importance of paying attention to what is happening around you. This can help you in all areas of your life, not just in relating to women.
No one’s life is so boring, so lacking in humor, beauty and drama, as to prevent them from having any interesting stories to relate to others.
Here is an appropriate mindset: you find your life interesting, and the world fascinates you; you, naturally, wish to convey this to others as you are a very social guy; you want others to come into your world so you invite them in with a story.
Learn emotional communication: If women could hit us all over the heads, and in a flash change one thing about men, it would be that we are not in touch with our emotions.
In order to communicate emotionally, we first must be in contact with our own emotional lives. This means being open to how we are feeling, each and every moment. (Check out David Deida’s “Blue Truth” for more on this)
Emotional communication is where you speak in a way that creates emotions in the listener. The way to do this as a storyteller is to invite the senses and emotions into the story.
This means to recreate the images that you observed, and sounds and smells you experienced, and anything you physically felt as a result of the experience.
You must do this with your words, conveying these words with feeling and emotion.
Men tend to be stoic, stiff, logical people, governed more by their intellect while women tend to be more emotional, centered in their feelings.
The “natural” is not stiff; he is relaxed and unafraid to convey emotions. He relates a story from his life with real feeling and he sympathizes with women intuitively.
At the same time he offers them strength and challenges them to face things in a more balanced way. He is unafraid to give himself to something with a great deal of passion.
The next time you go to a bar, or club, or somewhere where people are socializing, notice the men who have women with them.
Are they the stiff, nervous-looking guys who are mostly silent and appear as a deer in headlights when face-to-face with a beautiful woman? Nope.
Are they the relaxed, confident guys who are just having fun, joking around with people, sharing the moment and their life lightheartedly, without the appearance of being under a lot of pressure? Yes.
So, the first key to storytelling is to relax, and open up. Feel free to feel your way through an interaction with a woman. I encourage all men to be open to their emotional lives.
Endeavor to see that you, along with many people, have rich emotional lives. When you are open emotionally, it allows you a great resource with which to relate and connect with others.
This can help you get closer to other people (particularly women). This doesn’t require therapy, or analysis of any kind – unless you have severe challenges.
Learn to laugh, and enjoy yourself; learn to have compassion for others; learn to sympathize; learn to challenge yourself and others to live fuller lives.
See what I mean by this? This doesn’t mean to indulge in negative emotions (jealousy, fear, depression, anger etc). It does mean to be more social, more open, and more involved in the world around you.
Once you open up and begin to trust and listen to yourself, you will begin to notice many cues that were always there before, but that you were unaware of…why? You weren’t paying attention, that’s why.
This is an invaluable skill when storytelling because it adds a dimension to it that women strongly relate to – an emotional dimension.
I hope you enjoyed this little excerpt from my book. In chapters III & IV, I outline about 20 social skills for you to employ in your conversations with women…
…all of them vetted and used by me. Some of them, pure originals too (“baiting” for example).
Questions? I reply to comments so feel free to post below.
Also, to get your own copy of the book, click below to learn more:
How to Get a Girlfriend book by Stephen Nash
To review my entire list of the essential meet women skills from “The Game”, click the link and review my index. There are 10 really important ones. The series takes you from engaging women in a conversation all the way to escalating things physically and leadership.