I’ve decided to periodically post portions of my How to Get a Girlfriend book here on the blog. I think it’s a great way to introduce guys to my philosophy on becoming more successful with women & dating.
I’m not sure how many I’ll post, but I definitely wanted to put this one out there as it’s easily the most important (and elusive) concept for men to get.
Too many guys feel that improving their dating life means putting everything else on hold and focusing on “meeting more women” or “learning how to attract more women” or “improving my body language” etc.
These are important areas of study, but they cannot take over your life. I see this A LOT btw.
Many guys, out of understandable frustration and angst, reach a tipping point and decide to get this area of life “handled”.
The problem is, you can’t get better with women until you get better at living, as a man, as YOU. Here’s why making meeting women, or getting a woman, your main focus in life is a massive mistake.
If Meeting A Woman, Or Getting A Woman Are Your Purpose, You Are Already Screwed
Every man must have a purpose. What is yours?
What is the one goal or aim which is currently focusing your energy in a specific direction? Perhaps it is financial freedom, or vitalizing your social life. Whatever it is, you need to identify it, focus on it, and give your life to it. To be attractive to women you need to know what your purpose is and move passionately toward its fulfillment. Aimless, uninspired men are less attractive AND they tend to be unhappy and single.
However, if you are like many men, secretly your purpose is to meet a special woman to form a relationship. This will not work for you. Anything else will. By making any woman into your purpose, you make yourself insecure before this object of desire. In doing this, you depolarize yourself and any attraction that might exist between you and her.
Men are looked upon by women to provide security. Once your woman, or the woman you seek senses SHE is the aim of your life, she knows you have lost your way. By depending upon HER to provide you with security, you thwart the natural polarity that should exist between man and woman. This is the genesis of the modern phenomenon: The Needy Male.
So, stop this. Now. Instead, ask your heart what was it that you wanted when you were a child. What do you need to do to die complete? What is it that you hold in the back of your mind as a goal, or aim, that you (likely out of fear) do not face?
Focus your energy in this way, and discover your life’s purpose. Once you do, your life will become reorganized around it slowly and certainly.
This is the taproot to strong, stable inner game. It is the only way to find enduring confidence and self-esteem. And, it is the primary source from which masculine energy flows. Absent this focus, this proper devotion, you will always attract the wrong woman, or none at all.
Make sense? I reply to comments so feel free to post below.
Also, to get your own copy of the book, click below to learn more:
How to Get a Girlfriend Book by Stephen Nash