99% of the guys who read this blog, any web-board, attend any seminar/workshop or seek out mentorship are seeking a magic pill for the challenges they face.
Seems like a high number?
They want to learn how to get better with women, but they don’t want to face themselves in the way which WILL result in improvement.
Magic bullets don’t work.
This by no means makes any of these gentlemen “bad”, but it does give them a rather large hurdle that they MUST surmount as soon as is possible.
I worked with a client recently who continually fired contingencies at me, in search of what I would say in that situation.
“If she says xyzpdq, what would YOU say then?”
Eventually, I realized what was happening – he wanted to know everything in advance so as to guarantee his success. I can certainly sympathize with his wish – I had it myself.
However, if there were a magic pill, we (I for sure) would have already taken it, marketed it, and would be selling it now in every major pharmacy in the USA. It just doesn’t exist.
There is NO way for you to be prepared for every single contingency which will inevitably arise if you are able to engage women socially. NO WAY.
Every workshop student I have ever had has wanted to know “what to say”. The most I offer now are examples of: engaging, baiting, hooking, flirting, teasing, storytelling etc as a means to an end.
It is good to have something to start with as very few are willing to start completely from scratch (and why should you, with as much material as is in existance out there) – it helps you get out the door.
So, it has been, is and forever will be what separates the boys from the men – how willing are you to NOT know, and STILL engage?
How willing are you to step squarely into the fire, into the unknown, and see who you really are? I hate to say this, but few of you really are.
Most will become members of the growing lot of guys who feel slighted by the dating advice for men/seduction community, for not giving them enough.
I recall a young man I worked with over two years ago, while in LA. He had sent us email after email prior to his workshop, with lists of things he wanted to know.
Being interested in helping the guy, we prepared as diligently as possible. He had hoped for some clarity on how “to pull” – meaning how to take a girl from the club back to your place etc for further fun ‘n games.
Each of us took turns with him as we wanted him to see the differing styles in the group. Yes, some of the instructors were more skilled than others – but all in all, I can’t imagine a better group gathered to help this guy.
The final night, I pulled a girl from a club in LA. In fact, I jumped through numerous hoops to make it possible for him to witness the steps, and EVEN GO BACK TO HER PLACE WITH US.
Needless to say, the poor fellow was still dissatisfied with the product he was given. How sad.
His problem? He was looking for a magic pill…which simply doesn’t exist. I felt really badly for this guy – he was programmed to fail, which I hope he has resolved.
It is a recipe for failure – a most certain one – that I must know everything before I begin. You cannot, and will not – so shut up and start, or get busy being miserable.
Saul Alinsky writes:
“Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict…life is there ahead of you, and either one tests oneself in its challenges or huddles in the valleys in a dreamless day-to-day existence whose only purpose is the preservation of an illusory security and safety.”
So, how willing are you NOT to know – and step out of your house NOW and engage people (women) in conversation. I encourage you to do so.
In fact, feel free to fail – feel free to say whatever the hell comes to mind – feel free to forget everything you think you “should do” and just BEGIN.
The fire, the unknown will teach you far more than me, or any other teacher could.
I tell most of my clients to stop spending money in the community, and start PRACTICING what they already know.
Yes, you could take workshops until 2020 and continue to learn – but why not simply start living now?
The worst thing is to become addicted to safety…which if you have arrived at the doorstep of this community…well, I fear you are addicted to safety.
The crossroads is now – begin NOW – leave the desk, walk out the door, and ENGAGE.
See what happens…write about it…and learn from it…
If you’d like to learn more about how to approach a woman, try out my direct approach (click the link and you’ll be taken over to a podcast episode of mine). In my view, it is the most honest, straightforward and smooth technique you need to meet new women.
Even more importantly, are you WILLING to take this kind of action. Are you willing to try it??
The answer to that question will tell you a lot about yourself and your willingness to change.
Good luck and see you on the road.