It is bound to happen man. That one word we all do not want to hear.
If you decide to take charge of your life, and get your dating challenges handled, guess what? You are bound to make mistakes.
You are also bound to hear the most dreaded word that could ever emit from the beautiful lips of a woman: No.
Learning how to handle rejection from a woman and what to do when a woman says no is so important because of what it MEANS when she does so, and how your response will directly impact where this connection now goes.
It would be impossible to outline a to-do list for each and every time she might say no to you, OK? But, there is one basic rule for dealing with this objection and it is very important to abide by this rule.
Want to know what it is?
Well, when she says no to you, you better agree with her.
If you are about to kiss her, don’t.
If you are about to touch her, don’t.
If you are about to do anything intimate, and she says no, don’t do it. Period.
Now, you might be thinking but, is that it? It’s a closed door forever? I am NEVER to go for it?
Not exactly. Yes, she is uttering the word no to you, but what she is really saying is not yet or I am not comfortable with you yet. Women are all different and have different time schedules for everything. One woman may want to kiss you from the moment she sees you, while another may not want to feel your lips on hers until the second date.
What you have to do is to trust your intuition, and go with it. That is your best source of information.
If she says no, agree with her, and back up a bit give her some space and show her that you are sensitive to her comfort level. She probably needs more time with you, to learn more about you so she feels more connected and trusting.
So, backup a bit, convey your personality a bit more, convey some stories about your life, lighten the mood with your sense of humor and the next time you try to kiss her, she is more likely to be open to it.
A number of months ago, I was out with a woman and we were watching some fireworks by the Hudson River. The moment was intimate and romantic prime time for a kiss, or so I thought.
When I moved to kiss her, she moved her head back and giggled a bit. Instead of getting flustered or angry, I just smiled, stroked her hair and whispered OK.
I then kept the mood gentle and romantic by changing the subject slightly and told a story about watching fireworks when I was a kid.
When it was time to leave, I took her by the hand and led her back to the car. Instead of waiting until the end of the date for the kiss, I paused underneath an old lamp to admire the view of the river one last time. I pulled her into me, and this time, she was ready. We shared a nice kiss, and then soon left to go home.
She told me later that the way I handled her rejection caused her to feel more attracted and comfortable with me. Thus, I was able to kiss her with no resistance on my second try.
To summarize, if she says no, don’t get discouraged, down or angry. Just take it as information about how comfortable she is feeling with you.
Keep a positive frame of mind, and keep having fun with her. You can use this moment as a way to show her that you are someone she can trust, and that you can handle a challenge without loosing your cool.
Ultimately, if she continues saying no, guess what? She is probably not interested, or not attracted to you. Probably best to cut your losses then and move on.
Last but not least no means no – it does not mean if, and or but and certainly not yes. So, respect her wishes and comply.
I’d definitely recommend you checking out my long-ish post about how to meet women. This page lists the 10 “key” social skills you should learn, with links to further content about each (w/examples, audio etc).
Check it out!