I used to have no idea how to kiss a girl, and as important, WHEN to kiss her for the first time.
By the end of this article, you are going to know:
1) How to kiss a girl (particularly for the first time) &
2) My super smooth “kiss test” – to know if she’s even ready for that all important first kiss.
I developed these after years of pain and frustration dating women and feeling clueless when it came to this super crucial moment.
~ Have you ever started thinking about the first kiss BEFORE you even go out with her?
~ Ever start thinking about the kiss minutes into the date, worrying if you will have the nerve & if she will reciprocate?
~ Or, worst of all, have you ever found yourself getting “the hug” at the end of the first date (THE WORST)?
To me, it felt like a GIGANTIC risk to lean in and go for it.
And, let’s be honest, it is, but it’s also not life or death – which is exactly how I used to feel about it.
My pattern was to overthink things, over analyze every move she made to indicate whether she liked me or not, and then become so nervous at the end of the date that I would either be SUPER awkward when going for the kiss (which can freak a woman out) OR, not even go for it at all, leading to…
The dreaded HUG.
A hug? Are you kidding me?
Can you say: FRIEND ZONE. So frustrating!
Oh, and then after the date, I would beat myself up mercilessly for NOT going for it and then relive all those times in the past when I failed to go for what I wanted (the flagellation can be intense!)…
Knowing how to kiss a girl and WHEN to kiss a girl are really, really important.
So, I developed a very simple test for how to know if she was ready, and then I created some super simple “rules” for how to kiss a girl that left her (and me) wanting so much more.
After I tested this a bunch of times, I suddenly found myself so much more confident and comfortable on dates because I knew I had these skills in my back pocket.
But, before we dig into the specifics of my first kiss test and how to kiss a girl, let’s watch my favorite worst kiss ever video, courtesy “Blades of Glory” (in a hurry? fast forward to 1:08):
How to Kiss a Girl
The Test & The Steps
1) I always tell guys that they usually can sense when it is the right time, but they have to learn to trust their instincts on it.
2) The test: comment on her fragrance, and lean-in to her neck for a light sniff. Does she flinch when you get close? If so, she’s not ready.
3) If you’re still in doubt, allow the conversation to pause and just smile at her. Does she hold your gaze and smile back? If so, she is definitely ready.
4) What you want to do next is to subtly tilt your head towards hers. Then, subtly tilt it to the side (I always tilt right first, maybe because I’m right-handed). At this point, she should be tilting her head the opposite direction.
Slowly, your faces will reach each other, and your lips will touch.
You are now kissing her (in case you didn’t know).
This is NOT when you open your mouth and go for the full tongue-job. PLEASE NEVER do that, particularly for a first kiss. Kissing is an art: LESS is more.
5) Now, when your lips touch for the first time, pull away a bit afterwards, and savor it. Be sure to ENJOY the fact that you are kissing this beautiful woman.
6) Next, kiss her again, but this time hold your lips together for a bit longer, allowing for MORE of the lips to touch.
7) Bring your left hand up and gently stroke her cheek while you gently/lightly kiss her.
8) At some point, it is fine to French kiss her, but do not overdo this. All you are doing here is gently touching/caressing her tongue with yours. Do not fill her mouth with your tongue – very very tacky.
9) If things become very passionate, definitely do the following:
a) Move your left hand to the back of her neck, and gently grasp with your fisted hand the hair at the nape of her neck.
b) Gently pull it down, and not too far, just so it feels like there is the slightest pull from the scalp.
c) This feels incredibly good, while also bringing your faces even closer together.
10) A nice touch is to subtly savor her lower lip by either nibbling it, or caressing it with your tongue. If you ever find that you’re doing that, guess what – she REALLY LIKES you.
If this is a first kiss, end it after a minute. Don’t let it turn into a long, drawn out make-out particularly if it’s in public. That’s classless.
Your goal with any kiss is to leave her wanting MORE. Be sure to be the one to end it by pulling away first, OK?
This demonstrates a lot of confidence, definitely an awesome note to end a date on.
Again, learning when and how to kiss a girl can do wonders for your confidence and you will stand out to her as one of the few guys who “gets it”.
Questions/comments on how to kiss a girl, or my first kiss test? Let me know below.
Otherwise, good luck man!