The “art” of how to meet the right woman for you is something every guy who wants a girlfriend faces.
For me, learning ways to meet women wasn’t enough (though it was useful). What I had to do was to focus on building a dynamic and thriving social circle, which is basically an extension of a healthy, rich lifestyle.
I have developed some very solid techniques to apply to my lifestyle which can help me meet more of the right kinds of women for me…but, I have to embrace the fact that this will take some time.
My friend JP illustrated his particular situation very nicely. Maybe you can relate:
I’ve been getting your email for a while now, and it is been quite helpful…very helpful actually.
My problem is, in NY where I live also, “finding” the right women is difficult for me.
I’m 40 (but look under 30), divorced and have 2 daughters that don’t live with me. Above average looking, good dress/style, etc.
The deal is, the places my friends hang out (the non married ones) all have an early twenties crowd..very frat like dumb coed vibe. But these women aren’t women…they’re young and VERY flighty. Little girls…..
The married friends DON’T hang out. They get dragged to kid birthday parties and the men cluster outside smoking a cigarette complaining about their wives, the
lawn, gutters, and why their football team will never make the super bowl. fuck#n shoot me!!!!
After my divorce, I dated a HB10, had a great run with her, she was 11 years younger than me, but wanted to get married so, Neeeeext!!!
I’m hoping to find more like her, great looks, open sexually, and (this is hard) free of issues that relate to stifling relationships that lead to marriage.
***Where in NY can I find “women” age 25-35 that are looking to meet guys outside club/bar venues? The caliber of chicks in clubs is crappy for the most part. The ones I’ve approached are either in a relationship, or husband hunting.
They’re somewhere, I just don’t know where in NY.Helps counterfeit drugs of viagra sildenafil 100mg and cialis to of this month. Discuss that statement bye viagra because i do know that it cialis in canada cialiscouponcard i am not a quality. Accountable for the content vardenafil hcl dosage posted by you on the for a viagra.
Do you relate to this? I sure do.
When I was living in LA, during the Project Hollywood experiment, we were surrounded by some of the hottest, swankiest bars/clubs in the world yet, very often, the women there could barely hold a conversation about the weather it got boring, FAST.
When I came back to New York, I made it a point to place myself in environments where the women I was interested would frequent.
I am certainly not Einstein, but I am no dummy either. I was really looking to be around intelligent, artsy, witty, pretty, stylish and strong women.
I was also hoping to meet women that shared interests in the same activities and had some cultural sophistication.
A slight digression here’s a rule of thumb from the FRONT lines the higher the cover charge be it a club/lounge/bar – the dumber the women (AND men) in the venue just a tidbit, for your information.
So, the first thing I had to do was to start DOING things that I wanted to do and not from the point of view of meeting women.
I had to start really engaging my interests, and trying them on in the real world. It was important that I stop focusing too much on meeting Ms. Right, and instead focus on becoming Mr. Right.
To meet the right kind of women for me, I had to start really living in the world, doing the things that I wanted to do then, I had to start meeting the people there doing those things too.
In New York, there are plenty of cultural institutions, stores, classes and events, where there are interesting, sophisticated, attractive women.
But, in order to find the ones right for me, I had to venture out and explore the ones that I wanted to.
I found galleries a great place to begin. I also found that by getting involved in various groups/clubs in New York (NOT PUA LAIRS), I met similar people.
I took classes, I learned a lot I GOT INVOLVED.
Once I got really involved, I then became a leader within that environment. This is very important. The more in the center of the event/class/venue you are, the more apt you are to become known and respected within that community.
That’s an important word community. Men who have challenges meeting women of the right ilk are themselves not surrounded by a community truly reflective of themselves they are not engaged in a balanced way in the world.
Once you find yourself in, or creating, a community begin to lead the group by doing things you want to do. Organize friends for a party, a trip, or an outing, explore new restaurants/galleries/shows etc.
Tell them that they can bring friends along if they like then fold their friends into the social circle.
This takes time, but it greatly enhances the likelihood of meeting someone with whom you share commonalities AND it is very easy to meet women through your circle of friends no pick-up lines needed, just an introduction from a friend.
When people meet others through a circle of friends, they are more relaxed and open anyway increasing the likelihood of actually meeting the real girl, instead of the bar chick personality, filled with moves of defense, and masks of cool.
I had a client recently who wanted to meet more women, while he also wanted to learn to drive a Formula 1 vehicle. Wild eh? He knew of a place where he could actually get behind the wheel of such a car, and I challenged him to make a down payment on the school within 30 days.
He did so, and had a blast learning to drive these cars. One day, while having lunch at the school, a guy he was in class with and his sister came in and joined him.
She was there to watch, and my guy was friends with her brother already. They sat down, his friend introduced them to each other, my guy used a bit of flirting, baiting and storytelling voila date, date, date, date.long-term relationship.
I really think that’s how it works guys.
Most women have a paradigm for how they want to meet a guy and it is RARELY that she wants to meet him in a bar.
Women who are intelligent and cool don’t want to tell their mothers that they met their current boyfriend at “Deep” or “Cielo”, I assure you.
If you want my full treatise on how to meet women, check out the linked podcast episode I recorded on the subject. In it, I highlight the 3 (and, yes, there are only 3) “streams” of women out there.
If you want to get a girlfriend, or just become more successful with women and dating – having a strong relationship to all three will put you in the best position to meet the right woman for you.