Many guys are clueless when it comes to reading the signals women send them. In general, women expect men to approach them and initiate contact.
How to tell if a girl is interested in you or not boils down your ability to read the often subtle and indirect signals she offers you.
An ability to read these is vital to your success.
I was recently talking to a female friend of mine, who is very interested in a guy she met. They were introduced at a party, and had a great conversation.
They exchanged contact details, and she was hoping to hear from him. Days passed however with no contact from the guy. I asked her why she didn’t just contact him herself.
Her reply? “Women don’t contact men at first – that’s YOUR job”.
Well, a week later, I happened to meet this guy. I asked him about his conversation with my friend, and if he enjoyed talking with her.
His reply? “Big time. She is way cute. But, I could tell she wasn’t digging me – so, I didn’t go for it. I hate rejection man.”
So, this girl was INTO this guy and yet they will NEVER date each other simply because he did not pick-up on the subtleties of the interaction, and she refuses to make the first contact…frustrating, right?
Do you think this has happened to YOU? I would venture to guess it has.
Most women are not direct about their interest in men. They ARE however indirect and subtle. Our job is to learn what these cues are. Here is a sampling of five signs that she is into you:
1) When you begin the interaction, does she give you her full attention? Does she turn her body to face yours?
Even if you are in a group, talk directly with her and notice how she shifts her body. If she turns to face you, she is attracted to you.
2) Who is holding the conversation? You are looking for a 50/50 balance. However, if she is only responding to your questions, and never replying with questions of her own – you are in trouble.
At that point, change your delivery style and make statements, withdrawing your interest a bit (questions always signal interest). Talk about what interests you, your observations, etc.
See then if she fills the energy void, and starts probing you a bit. If not, she is being courteous, but she isn’t interested.
3) There are a number of gestures that women unconsciously do that signal their interest in men. A big one is twirling their hair. Another obvious one is shifting their weight.
Also, if she licks her lips, she feels attracted. Ultimately, watch her eyes – are they glued to you? Or, does she keep looking away, distracted? If she can’t take her eyes off of you – guess what – she is INTO you!
4) We normally advise guys to never lean-in to women when talking with them – particularly in the first interaction.
However, if you are unsure about her level of comfort and interest, close the space between you by taking a step forward or lean-in – sublety is KEY her guys. If she doesn’t retreat, she is basically comfortable with you.
If she does, simply back up and keep talking to her. She is not comfortable…yet.
5) When you ask for her number, is she obviously open to giving it to you? If she resists, or seems nervous about it, be careful.
This doesn’t necessarily mean the book is closed, but it does mean that she does not yet trust you. Suggestion: change the subject, try to mix in some humor as well as some stories from your life.
She needs to feel comfortable opening up her world with you. Once you have done this, ask again for her number. If you’ve done your job, the digits will be yours in a flash.
As a general rule, if you sense that she is not really into you, definitely keep talking to her but do NOT apply pressure to her. So, stay away from asking questions of her. Instead, make statements about yourself, your surroundings, or tell stories.
The BEST thing to do is to make statements of observation about HER. If you notice something compelling about her style, look, energy, SAY it.
Do this gracefully and with class, and her level of interest will hit the roof – guaranteed!
Oh, and you want to see my complete list of 25 signs she likes you, click the link and check it out. It has everything from signs she wants you to approach her, ask for her number, signs of attraction…the works.