LIFESTYLE FOR MEN…
This is THE main thing that I find myself helping men with the most & is skill #8 in my broader series on the most useful skills you should learn to meet women and improve your dating life.
In my one-on-one sessions, I tend to spend a lot of time discussing lifestyle and how focusing on it can create massive leverage in meeting lots of new women…
What do I mean when I say lifestyle?
Essentially, I am talking about the WAY you spend your time, so…
~What do you do?
~How long do you do it?
~How often do you do things that are healthy and fulfilling?
~How often do you waste, or 'kill', time (an awful phrase btw)?
If you want to be happy and fulfilled – and therefore attractive to healthy women – you need to take ownership over your own life first.
How you choose to spend your time is a HUGE piece of that equation.
Let's assume that you are like most people, feeling somewhat trapped in your job and you wake up grumpy in the mornings trying to find the energy to head out to “the office”.
This job serves you in some way, otherwise you wouldn't have it.
It could just be a paycheck to you.
In fact the majority of people see their jobs as a necessary evil, and not as a place to express their intelligence and creativity.
There are two things though that you have massive control over right now that I am going to discuss.
The first is your attitude.
If you hate your job, you are forgetting that you are lucky to have one, and that you could spend that “hateful” energy in a positive way by looking for another job, or changing your career path! Make sense?
I am not sure why, but most of us out there lose sight of what we have in favor of being resentful at what we do NOT have!
Amazing, but true.
If you REALLY hate your job, find another one.
If you hate your career, take action and become self-employed or go back to school.
Yes, these things take time, but it is remarkable to witness the power of change in one's attitude when they simply make a decision to begin this process of change.
If this describes you, take stock of this and formulate a plan of action that works for you.
Do not, for example, make the mistake of quitting your job before you have another one. Don't add the negative emotion of financial insecurity (anxiety, the American killer) to your plate.
Be intelligent and put yourself into action. Find gratitude for the current job that feeds, clothes and shelters you.
If you like and are fulfilled with your work, you are in the minority, and I congratulate you. The key is to have a positive attitude on a daily basis: to see the glass half full, rather than half-empty.
If you don't like your current reality, take action to change it. Empower yourself by stepping out of the victim role, and taking action as soon as you finish this post!
The other area that you have control over is how you spend the rest of your time.
What do you do when you aren't banging away at the office computer all day?
Are you a couch potato?
Are you out of shape?
Do you have an active social circle?
Are you involved in any hobbies?
Most of us spend our free time haphazardly, and we call it “spontaneity” or “relaxing”. I do not suggest that you manage your time down to the second.
But, I am suggesting that you use this time to encourage more happiness and joy in your daily lives. If you are a great cook, throw a dinner party to revitalize your social circle.
If you love to swim, join a swim club at the local gym. Perhaps you love sports – get involved in a local league that is gender-mixed. The outlets for your interests are countless.
It might require a little imagination, but you must get involved in the world if you want to bring more positive emotions into your life.
To bring it back to our primary aim, this is more ATTRACTIVE to women.
Also, by being out in the world, you meet more women with similar interests.
The fringe benefits to being active and involved in the world are a sense of meaning and connection. Every man deserves this and is responsible for taking the necessary actions to create this reality.
So many people live a life that is out of balance, spending a dominant portion of their time and energy “on the job”.
Balancing work and “other” time is critical because it allows other parts of your personality to come forward and be expressed.
It gives more of a variety of experiences to draw from when relating to other people, as well as providing other outlets to meet people enhancing your social circle.
It is also healthier. People who live more balanced lives are happier. Do I need to convince you more?
In my experience, the eight areas of life that need to be balanced into a healthy lifestyle are:
*Career/Work – In the ideal world, we all love our work. In the real world, we do not. Find a way to be grateful for your job, and useful. You will spend a lot of time at work, better to have a positive experience while there.
*Creativity – This is where hobbies are important. Perhaps you are an artist? Find time to create. A great hobby is photography. You can do it as you walk through your neighborhood. It is also a great way to meet people, and to share experiences with others through your photos.
*Intellectual – This is an area which is very neglected. It is important that you keep your intellect sharp. One way to do so is to read the newspaper on a daily basis. Or, dive into classic works of fiction, or poetry.
*Health & Fitness – Get in shape and stay in shape. There is no substitute for a great diet either. These are critical for living a healthy, balanced life. People who eat right and are in shape have better attitudes than those who do not. If your body feels better, you will feel better.
*Social – You need to spend time with your friends, relaxing and socializing. It is very important to have an active social life, as it keeps you connected and involved with the world. Also, having fun and sharing laughs helps you recharge intellectually and emotionally. Without an active social life, people tend towards depression and isolation.
*Family – This can be sensitive for some people who experienced difficulties with their parents when they were younger. Your family can be a great source of comfort and connection, as well being supportive through difficult times. It is common for people to feel challenged in their family lives. However, growing through these challenges forges character and integrity.
*Companionship & Intimacy – Ultimately, every person deserves a lasting, meaningful relationship. It can be both nurturing and challenging. Ultimately, it serves to help us be open to another person, and understand the nature of intimacy and love. Intimate relationships are important in any person's development. The result is a greater sense of ourselves, and a more fulfilling and happy life. Most of you reading this are probably looking for this.
*Austerity – Lastly, each of us needs time alone. This is when we recharge and connect with ourselves, and our purpose. Perhaps this is when we indulge in our hobbies, or when we practice daily meditation. Spending time alone helps us reenter the world feeling refreshed and connected.
Find outlets for your interests and then pursue them.
If you feel that one or more of these categories are missing, creatively brainstorm ways to bring this into balance by taking some action. Perhaps you would benefit from taking a meditation class.
Or, pick-up that novel you have wanted to read, but denied yourself.
Hobbies are great, as are activities and events. Look out for the social calendars in your neighborhood.
Here in New York City we have The Village Voice that is a free weekly publication. It lists all of the film, theater, music, nightlife and special events for the week.
Also, in this current internet age, there are countless resources online that can help you get inside information on the events in your home town.
Being out of balance is common, unnecessary and easily resolved.
Use these tips, and get active.
Build a lifestyle which fills you with purpose and meaning and watch as you simply BECOME more attractive to women.
To review my entire list of the essential meet women skills from “The Game”, click the link and review my index. There are 10 really important ones. The series takes you from engaging women in a conversation all the way to escalating things physically and leadership.