Qualifying women is a key skill for men who are actively dating and seeking a long-term relationship.
Doing so requires a deft touch, a bit of class and the ability to be direct.
For many guys who have previously lacked success in dating they often find themselves being qualified by women. They are “chosen” by women (this definitely used to describe me btw).
Well, if you are like I was, this information makes you a bit nauseous and, frankly, a little pissed off!
If it does, that is good. You might be one of the few who is able to learn how to qualify a woman and end up with the proper relationship dynamic – one where you mutually choose each other.
The problem is most guys feel desperate, so when a woman comes along willing to spend a little time with him, he jumps at the chance to be with her, even if he is not attracted to her.
Sound familiar? It sure did to me, until I learned how to smoothly qualify a woman.
Qualifying women (or “screening”), starts with having a very clear vision of what you want, and then having the skill to see if a woman you are dating has those qualities.
I imagine you are like I used to be. Perhaps a bit shy, lacking confidence, dreaming of having an awesome girlfriend, with a faint sense of purpose, but a greater sense of loneliness and confusion when it comes to dating and women.
Most guys who come to us have some of the above traits in common.
What they also have in common is a deep desire to choose the women in their lives, rather than ‘settling’ for who is available. Sound familiar?
By empowering guys with the ability to qualify a woman, we give you the power of choice.
Also, by knowing what you want and feeling that power of choice, you will naturally be more secure and confident in your interactions.
In order to choose something, first you must know – what do you want?
Read the above statement about ten times. I am serious. If you are clueless about what you really want – you won’t get it!!
In particular, what do you want when it comes to dating and women?
If you don’t know, start by asking yourself, why am I reading this? Why am I interested in helping myself with my challenges when it comes to women?
Do I want a girlfriend? Do I want to have a one-night stand? Do I want a date by this Friday night?
What is it?
In fact, take out a pen and paper, and write down now, what it is that you want. Be specific and clear.
Sign and date the page – this is an important moment in your life. Too often, the reason we do not get what we want is because we never take the time to be specific about what that is.
Did you do it?
Next, think about the kind of woman who would fulfill you, given what you want. You probably have an image of her, and it is great to be clear about how she is physically. More importantly, you must know what personality qualities or characteristics you are looking for.
Again, take out a pen and paper, and spend five minutes writing down what kind of woman it is that you want in your life. Write everything that comes to mind. Be as specific as you want to be – so, if you like pouty lips, write it down! Go for it now, and spend about five minutes doing it.
OK – so, now, you have a clear idea of what kind of romantic or dating situation you are seeking, as well as having a sense of the kind of woman that fits that profile.
You have just done something that 95% of all men will never do. They are leaving their chances up to luck and fate when it comes to women.
Unacceptable in my book.
So, now that you know what you want, you can focus on being a chooser, rather than ‘settling’.
Most guys who work with us, or who we have met simply through the daily living of our lives, would LOVE to say that they feel the power of choice when it comes to the women.
What most guys tend to feel is a lack of power, accompanied with an attitude of, ‘I will take what I can get’…
Before you can choose, you have to know what you want, right? Screening is merely an extension of that.
In order to do this, it is necessary that you are specific about your standards, and that you refuse to accept anything less than that unless you make a conscious decision to do so because, sometimes, what you write down doesn’t work in the real world – but, there is only one way to find out… you gotta get out there, and talk to women.
Now, once you are out with a woman, the secret is to hold this criteria in your mind. At the right moments, ask her powerful questions such as:
What was the last truly adventurous thing you did?
If you had 6 months to live, what would you do? (follow-up – why aren’t you doing that now?)
Who is your best friend and why?
What is the longest friendship you have?
These are perfectly acceptable questions to ask of anyone, and they give you insight into a woman’s character. Also, they subcommunicate to her that you have standards – which is very attractive.
I also closely monitor a woman’s behavior on the first few dates. Things such as lateness, rudeness to the waitstaff (if you are at a restaurant), her offering to help pay for things (I will always insist, but her offering to help is a good gesture in my book), and her expressing gratitude towards me for taking her out.
These are all huge in my book, and if she doesn’t measure up to my standards in these areas, I will likely filter her out and move on to the next woman.
Just remember, the power to choose is given to those who are willing to identify what they want, and then are willing to go for it – in real life.
You have to be willing to walk away from people and interactions that don’t measure up to what you want, and what fits into your desires for a relationship.
It’s so very important that you learn how to qualify a woman so that you end up with the right one for you…
In my journey to a great relationship, this skill has been invaluable.
If you’d like to read my 24 top tips for how to get a girlfriend, click the link (it’s kind of a long read, so definitely bookmark the page).
This post has everything that I’ve learned on the girlfriend topic, particularly how getting a girlfriend requires some focus and knowing – specifically – what it is you really, truly want. I hope you will check it out.
While screening can be/is a deciding factor, some of us guys have to define the line of being too analytical……here I am