One of the questions I used to get a lot once I gave up “pick-up”, was: “But, how are you going to meet women?”
In fact, there are various ways to get a girlfriend, with approaching women being the WORST way btw.
The best way to get a girlfriend is to have a healthy social life and social circle.
Next time you are out and about, check out the couples in your midst. Or, if you know friends who are in long-term relationships, talk to them about how they met.
Do you really think that these people came together through a cold approach?
I can confidently say that MOST people in successful relationships meet through their social circle.
Of the ways to get a girlfriend, social circle is by far the best.
It’s very rare for people to meet via a cold approach, which is why its so foolish to give years of your life to learning how to approach women cold if you’re looking to have an improved dating life, meet people who are actually good for you, and accommodate your lifestyle, and that you have things in common with.
Makes sense right?
What you WANT to do is GROW your LIFESTYLE so that it SUPPORTS your interest in dating women that you have a NATURAL connection with. This way, they come to YOU.
Ever hear of being the PRIZE? Well, here is exactly how you do it.
The ONLY time it makes sense to do a cold approach is:
1) To PRACTICE social skills and;
2) CARPE DIEM: If she takes your breath away and you can’t lay your head on your pillow tonight without talking to her the carpe diem,Dead Poets Society Reason
What are some strategies then for beginning the process of building your social circle?
How to approach your social circle with intelligence, so that you might learn how to grow it in such a way that it naturally invites in more and more people relieving you of much of the work in meeting women sounds nice right?
Here’s what you do.
First of all, I’d like you to write down this name – John Goddard, and if you’ve read my posts before, studied my blog, or heard other podcasts, that name should sound familiar.
John Goddard was a man at the age of 15 who determined that he was going to do 127 things before he died, and he set out to do them! To date, he’s done 109 guess what NO problems meeting women
For our purposes, doing this exercise helps us to understand what you want to do with your free time. Many of you might be in jobs that are not terribly interesting. But what outside of that do you really want to be doing?
Have you ever even thought of that? I suggest you make YOUR Goddard list today and START doing them.
If you can really engage in those activities, you will meet other people who ALSO want to be doing those things. Suddenly you are meeting people then with whom you share something in common
I repeat: I strongly encourage you to make a list of the things that you’d like to learn, like to do, clubs you’d like to join, events you’d like to attend. Also, become involved in your community, not by picking up girls off the street and in bars, but by learning where activities are, where venues are, where events are, clubs, classes.
The best way to meet women is to get a life!
This is the SMART way to meeting women if you’re exhausted all of the time in trying to grow your social life, you are doing this WRONG. Do things you want to do FIRST, then meet the people who are there doing it with you.
Get engaged, get involved…be inspired by Goddart’s example.
The next step is to become the LEADER.
If you have a group of friends that you do things with, become the one who is the ringleader, the one who PLANS the activities. Set out to do certain things: take trips, take day trips, do things in your area, go to concerts, go to shows, go to new restaurants, new clubs whatever YOU want.
Here are some MORE ideas:
Once a month go try out a new nice restaurant that you save your money for. Set up a little group of friends that you throw parties with on a regular basis, perhaps you have dinner parties at each others homes.
When you do that, tell the guests to bring people that no one else knows. It’s the easiest way to meet people. Or, throw a party in your house, invite ten people and tell them each to bring someone that they don’t know. PRESTO – you’ve got ten new people that you didn’t already know. This idea is GOLD trust me.
This is intelligent because it allows your social circle to do the work for you rather than you having to be constantly meeting new people.
Now, in my client work, I do teach how to engage women in a cold approach scenario for those Carpe Diem moments. So, how to Engage, Hook and Connect with them.
These are very simple skills, and all very straight forward; I have numerous exercises that I teach guys which helps them to learn these skills. But if you already know those or feel comfortable socially all you need to do is to start meeting the right kind of people which is VERY simple.
To recap, there are three steps, they are:
1. Get a LIFE – And I don’t mean that to insult you but what I basically mean is to get out there and get active. Get involved, do things that you like to do and you will naturally meet people that you have things in common with. (REMEMBER John Goddard )
2. Be a LEADER – Become the center of that social circle.
3. Be SMART – Allow your social circle to naturally bring people to you, by:
a) Organizing interesting events
b) Telling your friends that you’d like them to bring other people. Tell them you’re looking to expand your network of contacts.
And if you’re really brave,
c) Tell your friends, ‘Listen I’m looking to date, I’m looking to meet women, bring your female friends, and encourage them to bring friends too.’ – Your women friends will love to introduce you to their women friends. That’s their nature: they love seeing their friends hook up and get connected with good, cool guys.
Want to learn all of my main tips for how to get a girlfriend, check out my pillar post on the topic by clicking here.
I take you from start to finish, from where exactly to begin through that moment when the two of you make your relationship official.