One of the most frustrating scenarios that many men face in the dating game is when a woman won’t call you back…
You’ve worked up your nerve to call her, left a killer message (if you do say so yourself) only to find days passing without a return call from her.
There is certainly a reason why she won’t call you back, and it likely has nothing to do with your message – it happened BEFORE you even called her.
Not getting a call back from a girl happens to ALL of us. It has certainly happened to me more than once.
What this typically indicates is a lack of connection.
If you call her once, and you receive no reply, definitely try her again a few days later (please, please, please don’t turn into John Favreau in Swingers – the most uncomfortable movie scene of all time!)
But, if she doesn’t pick up on the second call, leave this message:
Hey, it’s Stephen. I thought I would give in one last shot at meeting up with you. I enjoyed our conversation, and hoped to continue it sometime. Anyway, here’s my number, and I wish you the best.
This is so solid because it tells her that you will not chase her, and that you are willing to walk away. You are not desperate.
This message often gets a call back, as she realizes you are serious about meeting up with her and you are telling her that this is her “last” chance.
If she doesn’t call you back, then one of the following has happened:
1) She is not open to meeting anyone new right now;
2) She does not trust you.
We have no control over situations where the woman is simply not interested in meeting someone new. She may already be in Top interracial dating websites online – Most popular & New sites of 2018. a relationship or just be in town for the weekend; we’ll never know, so don’t dwell on it.
However, we can influence the initial interaction so that she feels greater attraction and trust for us.
If you consistently do not get return calls from women, you are not handling your first interaction with her in the proper way.
Being an attractive man is both an internal belief, and an external skill set.
Do you know how to flirt?
Do you know how to tell a story (and not put someone to sleep)?
Do you know how to tease?
Do you know how to do all of this without coming across as weird and creepy?
Do you have a plan of action when meeting women?
Do you know how to structure an interaction to insure a date?
Let’s assume, for the sake of discussion, she felt that spark of attraction, and in the flush of the moment, handed you her card. Now, you have phoned her a couple of times, but she won’t call you back…why is this?
She doesn’t trust you.
In my experience – this is usually the case.
Trust is a complex issue, my friend. In order to understand it, put yourself in her shoes for a moment.
First, you are approached by this cool guy, and you are engaged in a conversation. It flows nicely from the beginning, and you find him attractive.
You then talk about this great film you both saw last week (coincidentally) for about ten minutes. He seemed charming, so you gave him your phone number.
After you left, you started asking yourself some questions:
- What do we really have in common?
- What will we talk about if we went out?
- Would it be comfortable?
- Why does he like me, when he knows nothing about me?
- Is it only for my appearance?
- Who was that guy?
You see where this leads, don’t you? She doesn’t really know you, so she cannot trust you or your intentions.
You may be sincerely interested in her – perhaps her vibe was irresistible, or her appearance was too beautiful to pass up – but unless she feels a solid connection, you won’t see her again.
You have been thrown in the pile with all the other guys who, “only want me for my body”.
So, how do we create this solid connection?
In brief, you talk about many different things. We call this wide rapport. In the example above, I describe deep rapport.
When you first meet a woman, and you know you want to see her again, you need to create wide rapport.
Talk about a lot of topics by using your conversation skills. Be sure you reveal aspects of your personality and your background.
Don’t go into a full life story, but be sure to let her know SOMETHING about you. She has to leave knowing enough about you in order to feel comfortable seeing you again.
When she feels you have more than just one thing in common, her thought process changes: Wow, I hope he calls, we have so much to talk about. I felt comfortable around him, because he knew how to hold a conversation. I enjoyed talking with him, he was interesting, I connected with him and he really listened to me.
See where this goes?
If you’d like to read more about how to get a girls number, click the link and I’ll reveal the exact phrase I use to get her contact info, what to do if she offers her email address instead and how to be 100% sure that this is the right number for her AND that she WILL call you back…